— SURGICAL MENOPAUSE —
When I woke up from surgery I felt relief. I really have no perfect words for it.
I felt the unloading of lifetimes, of pain and suffering. My mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother all had PMDD.
Within my own healing, I knew I had been working with a deep line of Ancestral suffering.
I knew I would not have children, and that I would become the last to hold this specific pathology in my blood line, known as PMDD.
Within my grief and knowing, I felt a sense of peace. The right decision for me was not easy, and it cost me my own idea of what I thought my life would look like.
As a woman, I consciously chose to sacrifice the experience of birthing a child for the trust and potential to gain my life, and find health/healing in ways that I could not fully understand at the time. I had to trust and accept this fate for reasons far greater than myself.
Healing looks and feels EVERY imaginable or unimaginable way. Healing is not always what we think it to be.
We must stay open to the abstract in order to uncover, unravel, and see what is there, staying open to thinking and feeling outside of the box, outside of what we have been taught.
It takes the support of a village, a journey within, and all the elements of nature to remember there is something greater than the pain.
